I've been thinking about the difference between Davy and Malcolm and how Malcolm hurt Baz by the things he never said but through his actions demonstrated that he loves Baz very much. Like he never openly says he approves of who Baz is and of course Bazs hurt is valid in wanting to hear the words and not getting them. But Malcolm shows that he accepts him by making sure Baz has animals to drink and inviting Simon to Christmas. And Baz wanting to reach out to his dad in WS when he felt overwhelmed, he imagined that his dad would say things he didn't want to hear EX leave Agatha to die, but he knows it would be coming from a place where he values Bazs life and safety over Baz being a hero and Baz in his lowest moment wanting his dad shows that even Baz knows his dad loves him.
On the flip side as RR pointed out Davy says really encouraging stuff to Simon but he put in zero emotional labour behind it and when he did praise Simon it had strong stage dad energy where it's more about pressure, control and even vicariously living though him than actually building Simon up. I think its sad that for Simon Davys empty words are good enough because he had no way of knowing that it wasn’t. I think in CO when Simon wants to go to the Mage after he learns he's the Humdrum it's not to seek answers or comfort I think he knows that he's going there to be destroyed. Like all he is as a person is what the Mage made him and he's going to him to be destroyed figuratively and literally.
I just read "Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zautner and how parents can't always understand or especially for certain generations, express themselves to their children but they find avenues to show their love and I feel like Baz and Malcolm have that sort of secret language of affection with each other: Malcolm doing things to show his love for his son, Baz mimicing Malcolms habits. And I also finished "I'm Glad my Mom Died" by Jennette McCurdy and I feel like her Stage mom had so much Davy energy maybe Simon will get to a place where he'll be glad he killed his dad. I think Simon can sort of grasp that he loved Davy and I think the part of his emotions he's repressing is the part of him that's relieved he's gone and that maybe a part of him hates Davy. And he'll have to grapple with feeling both those things about Davy someday. Yeah reading books about complicated relationships with moms made me think about CO dads
I do think it's interesting that Simon when he thought hed marry Agatha he said hed ask Dr Wellbelove what hed do for his future or in SFC when he says he wants to join the RAF and I although I think that's sweet that he wants to be like his grandfather I also wonder if it's Simon attaching himself to another father figure that is also emotionally one sided (not because Andrew is a bad person but he's dead and so Simon can infuse him with the "footballer" dad fantasy he had when he's an orphan) Simon is constantly looking for a grown man to tell him what to do and who he is. He seriously needs to talk to someone, his dad issues are very meaty
